Welcome back, Happiness

    It occurred to me today, while having coffee with a friend, that I'm happy again.
After only a short few weeks of being back on medication for my depression, I'm much much happier. It's not happened all of a sudden, but it's only really sunk in today. The last few times I've visited this particular friend, I've felt very depressed and like the world is caving in on me. Which with Madd's upcoming diagnosis of Aspergers or Autism, her being bullied at school, pressures of study, 3 days a week of placement, AND an ill-tempered 2 year old, it's not surprising that life's been getting to me. I'm glad that I was able to recognise the signs of my mental demise, and act. So many people out there with depression can't or won't admit they need help, and it's a real shame - because the results are fantastic when you seek help!

    Admittedly, I haven't been to placement in 2 weeks. After having this coming week off, it will be 3 weeks. Unfortunately, with placement being unpaid work and us having bills and rent to pay (not to mention saving for a second car), Ash can't afford to take time off. So again I miss placement. Madd has a stye (an eye infection), so she has to have eye drops every 3 hours. Since the school can't legally pin her down and administer them, she'll have to stay home so that I can do it. She refuses to take them, she just panicks and totally freaks out. So I sit on her, pinning her arms by her side. Then I clamp her head and administer the eye drops. Then I get off her and leave her to melt down. She does eventually calm down; about 2 minutes after the eye drops are in, she'll sit and cuddle me. Then she goes back to whatever she was doing. She's not thrilled about the eye drops, but the doctor explained to her that if she doesn't take them (and the antibiotics), she'll be put into hospital and have an IV drip in her arm. She doesn't like that idea. So, although she fights for the eye drops not to be done, she's well aware of what will happen if she doesn't.

    So this week will be spent with me trying to get Madd to get some maths and english work done in the workbooks we have here. She's not going to sit around and watch TV all day just because of a sore eye. She still has to learn something while she's home.

I feel bad for missing 3 weeks of placement, but at the end of the day it's unpaid experience; and I'm there to learn; since I'm not employed, I'm not really letting them down. I'm looking forward to going back, but I've also been extremely busy with my time off; dealing with a toddler with a cold for almost 2 weeks, then me being sick, now Madd's eye issues. Having a really bad run at the moment, but I'm coping quite well.

THANK YOU, Zoloft, for saving my sanity.