Sometimes when I'm sitting at home on a Friday or Saturday night, and the kids are both asleep in bed, I wish that I could go out. I feel like I'm missing out on ME time, missing out on having a life.
Then I realise, that the kids ARE my life. I'm still me, despite having to change so much to be a better person for the kids. I look back at everything that I've been through and experienced in the last 15 years, and I realise that I AM missing out on things. I'm missing out on all the adventures I used to have.
But do I really want to go back to that?
I did a lot of stupid things when I was younger (and I mean a LOT of stupid things!). So I guess it was time to settle down. When I think about going back to my before-kids life, I realise all the things that could have gone wrong. It's a miracle that they didn't! It's a miracle that I'm alive, healthy and in one piece!
So soon I'm going to embrace normalcy, and adulthood along with it.
Not quite ready to yet though. Maybe after this year. I'm enjoying being me at the moment, whoever me happens to be.
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