Birthday Excursion for Madd

    So Madd is off to Puffing Billy tomorrow with a friend. I'm very nervous about sending her by herself without me - the parents are good family friends, so I trust them more than most with my kids. But... it's Madd. She's really looking forward to going, and I'll enjoy the break from her; but I'm nervous.

I'm not sure what I'm worried about.
She could go missing - well, that's not a huge deal. She'd turn up eventually.
She could have a meltdown - the parents have seen Madd in full meltdown mode, and know how to handle her.
She could get anxious and upset - well she probably won't let it out until she gets home, in which case it's not a catastrophe.

I don't know what I'm concerned about - she'll be fine, I know she will.
I guess I'm most worried that she could go missing - it wouldn't be the first time. But she's turned up every time. I'll have to keep extra busy tomorrow so that I don't think about it!

Eye drops and Aspergers

      So Madd had a stye, and it's now burst. The doctor gave her a script for eye drops, which have to be administered every 3 hours *sigh*
So I've taken the week off to stay home and go to the school twice a day at 12 and 3 and put the eye drops in.  I have to pin her down, because she won't voluntarily take them. I tried to reason with her, and get her to let me put them in, but even with a teachers' assistant talking to her, she wouldn't do it. So I took her into the empty staff room and pinned her on the floor and put the drops in.

      As I carried Madd back to class from the staff room (she clung to me, and so I comforted her by carrying her down to the classroom), she calmed down. As we entered the classroom, her teacher pipes up and says, "Oh, you've got a baby there", meaning that Madd was being a baby. I'm really angry at that stupid, thoughtless comment. I have a hard enough time getting her to do what needs to be done, and when she shows emotion I'm not going to call her a baby. I am extremely angry right now.

Will be interesting to see how we go with the eye drops at 3pm. School doesn't finish til 3:30, and then she's going to afterschool care - I'm trying to keep as much routine as I can during the next 2 weeks before she changes schools. I'm not going to my class tonight, since there's no way Mum will be able to administer the eye drops.  At least my teacher is okay about it. It's one of those times I'm glad I don't have a job, because if I was missing this much paid work I'd be getting in trouble.

Welcome back, Happiness

    It occurred to me today, while having coffee with a friend, that I'm happy again.
After only a short few weeks of being back on medication for my depression, I'm much much happier. It's not happened all of a sudden, but it's only really sunk in today. The last few times I've visited this particular friend, I've felt very depressed and like the world is caving in on me. Which with Madd's upcoming diagnosis of Aspergers or Autism, her being bullied at school, pressures of study, 3 days a week of placement, AND an ill-tempered 2 year old, it's not surprising that life's been getting to me. I'm glad that I was able to recognise the signs of my mental demise, and act. So many people out there with depression can't or won't admit they need help, and it's a real shame - because the results are fantastic when you seek help!

    Admittedly, I haven't been to placement in 2 weeks. After having this coming week off, it will be 3 weeks. Unfortunately, with placement being unpaid work and us having bills and rent to pay (not to mention saving for a second car), Ash can't afford to take time off. So again I miss placement. Madd has a stye (an eye infection), so she has to have eye drops every 3 hours. Since the school can't legally pin her down and administer them, she'll have to stay home so that I can do it. She refuses to take them, she just panicks and totally freaks out. So I sit on her, pinning her arms by her side. Then I clamp her head and administer the eye drops. Then I get off her and leave her to melt down. She does eventually calm down; about 2 minutes after the eye drops are in, she'll sit and cuddle me. Then she goes back to whatever she was doing. She's not thrilled about the eye drops, but the doctor explained to her that if she doesn't take them (and the antibiotics), she'll be put into hospital and have an IV drip in her arm. She doesn't like that idea. So, although she fights for the eye drops not to be done, she's well aware of what will happen if she doesn't.

    So this week will be spent with me trying to get Madd to get some maths and english work done in the workbooks we have here. She's not going to sit around and watch TV all day just because of a sore eye. She still has to learn something while she's home.

I feel bad for missing 3 weeks of placement, but at the end of the day it's unpaid experience; and I'm there to learn; since I'm not employed, I'm not really letting them down. I'm looking forward to going back, but I've also been extremely busy with my time off; dealing with a toddler with a cold for almost 2 weeks, then me being sick, now Madd's eye issues. Having a really bad run at the moment, but I'm coping quite well.

THANK YOU, Zoloft, for saving my sanity.

Product Review - Lunette Menstrual Cup

For those guys who were silly enough to click on this post, seriously - for your own good, don't read any further.



 I absolutely HATE having my period. It's icky, and I always leak. So when I first discovered menstrual cups a few days ago, I started researching them.
I couldn't find any bad reviews - there wasn't a single person who's tried them that didn't keep using them. And no one seemed to have anything really bad to say about them.

     So I took a chance and ordered one online. I chose the Lunette menstrual cup, based on the fact it was under $50. It seemed like a good one, so I went with it. I paid extra for Express Post, and it arrived the very next day - very impressive.

    The product itself is... interesting.
The reviews seemed to indicate that it's trickier to remove it than insert it. So I tried it.
I ended up having to cut the stem off right at the bottom, because it dug into my lady parts. Once I removed the stem, it feels much better. Not exactly comfortable, but I'm sure I'll get used to it. The suction works quite well, and not too hard to get it out either. Seems to be a much better alternative to pads or tampons.

After 24 hours of having the cup, I can happily blog about it and say it's amazing. I would recommend it to EVERYONE!! For the first time, I woke up comfortable in the morning. There was no rush to get up and get changed, and no leakage!

I ended up turning the cup inside-out after I cut off the stem. No discomfort, I barely notice that the thing is in there. Very very happy with my purchase!

Depression and Women's Business

     Well I haven't been myself for quite awhile. With Madd's upcoming diagnosis next month, and being bullied at placement, the massive workload at TAFE and dealing with a tantruming 2 year old and a melting-down 6 year old who is about to change schools, I've been very stressed and anxious. I hadn't realised just how depressed I'd been until I started thinking about getting in the car and leaving. Then I realised I couldn't do that, and the suicidal thoughts started. THAT was when I decided that I needed help.

     So I went to one of my 2 usual doctors clinics. Apparently THAT one didn't have any record of my depression or medication. I went in there feeling suicidal and bawling my eyes out and asking for medication, and the doctor stone-faced told me there was nothing he could do and I had to fill out a questionnaire and come back in a week. So... I left feeling extremely angry. Truth be told, I function much better on anger than depression. So I made an appointment with my OTHER usual clinic, and got the medication and a referral to see a psychologist. The same one I saw after I had Coop, since I figured she knows me already and that should speed up the process of figuring out how to help me help myself.

     So, after nearly 2 weeks of being on medication, I haven't forgotten a single dose - I've done really really well. And, although my sex drive and brain function has dropped (very well-known side-effects of the medication), I'm functioning a lot better. I have a lot of "stupid moments" where I say or do something that makes people go "what is wrong with you??". But overall, I feel better. Even with having a cold, being home for 2 weeks with a sick toddler, and dealing with Madd's meltdowns because she doesn't want to go to school, I'm feeling pretty darn good.

     ALRIGHT GUYS - if you're a guy, stop reading here. SERIOUSLY. Don't read any further! Womens Business!






     I HATE having my period. When ToM (Time of the Month) comes to visit, I'm a bitch. I hate dealing with it, and the leakage that always happens no matter how many pads/tampons you use.
So after reading up on menstrual cups, I've decided to buy one. It's made of silicon, and the idea is that when you push it up into your lady parts, it forms a seal and catches all the blood. Then you empty it (about every 12 hours), and reinsert it and go again for the next 12 hours. I'm looking forward to seeing if it works.
Apparently putting it IN is quite easy. Taking it OUT, however, is apparently quite tricky since you need to break the seal that holds it in. I will post an update after it's arrived and I've tried it out - for those of you who hate tampons and pads and all that "stuff", I'd recommend you try a cup. There's not a single person I've found who's been brave enough to try it and hasn't kept using it. They're well worth it. Not to mention a LOT cheaper. A $50 cup will last you years, instead of $10-$20 per month on pads and tampons. And it's the "green" option. Very hippy of me, but we'll see how we go :)

My Rant

my rant for today -

I'm sick of school teachers that just don't understand. My child has social-emotional issues, and she's being assessed for Aspergers... she can't sit with one of the kids in her class - they can't even be on the same table, or there's nasty things said by him to my kid, and then she retalliates with either words or her fists. Issue last week was that he cut her jumper. THIS week, the art teacher (who knows they can't sit together) had them sitting at the same table, and he told her that she had a fat ugly face. So my kid comes home and melts down so badly that I end up giving her the next day off school so that she can have a break from him. Soooo angry. AND the teacher is supposed to write in her communication book every day (since she's in afterschool care 3 times a week), and didn't bother yet again. Very glad we made the decision to change her to another school next term.

WHY, when an issue is known, does the teacher insist on putting her with this kid???????
The last time they were sat together, Madd told the teacher she wasn't allowed to sit with him, and the teacher told her that she had to sit with him. I'm so angry. This is the main reason behind her not wanting to go to school any more.

I look forward to her leaving this school and going to a school where they understand her.

Moving Schools - The Journey

     The new school that Madd is going to doesn't have an on-site uniform shop - they do all their uniform sales through a schoolwear outlet. So this morning the kids and I headed there to pick up a couple of things for Madd.

      We bought 3 items - a bomber jacket, a polo shirt and a dress. $115 later, we were out of there.
I couldn't believe the price, it seemed outrageous. I then spent $8 on a pair of track pants for her - so she has two sets of uniforms; a dress, and a pair of pants and polo shirt. That will have to do her for now, since we can't afford to go buying much more than that at the moment. It's proving to be an expensive change, but I'm sure it will be worth it.

Cooper was getting a cold last Sunday, so I took last week off school and placement. Toward Wednesday and Thursday, he seemed a lot better. Now today he's done almost nothing but sleep. He slept in the car, he slept after lunch, he got up and drank a bottle and took himself back to bed within half an hour. He's still asleep now. So I'm not sure if I'll be back at placement again on Monday like I'm supposed to be. I can't send him to childcare if he's not well, so there may be a few more quiet days at home for us.

MONDAY:

Well, Cooper is STILL sick. Hoping he'll be better by Wednesday so I can get back to placement. Otherwise I won't finish my time there until next year, which would be REALLY bad. I'm hoping to be able to go back to work next year, at least part-time. I've got a lot of housework to catch up on today, so I really don't mind missing placement. I managed to get some food shopping done this morning, the first time in ages. Feels like Cooper's been sick forever.  At least the house will be clean by the end of today. I may even have a few meals in the freezer too - depending on how much motivation I can find today. It really is too nice a day to be inside all day.

Madd went to school today, although she's kinda out-of-uniform. I couldn't find a school t-shirt for her, I think the only one she's got left is long-sleeved and hiding somewhere. So she wore a tshirt to school (not even the right colour). It was hard enough to get her to not wear her NEW school uniform to the almost-ex school. The next few weeks with her will be tough, but at least it'll be over in a few weeks and she can have a 2 week holiday and then attend the new school.