I'm preparing to change Madd's school if we have to.
I love the school she's at, it's a small community and small school. It's a wonderful school if you have a neurotypical child.
However....
There's one child that Madd can't sit with or work with. They can't even be in the same group. They stir each other, and punches end up getting thrown. The regular teacher knows this. But it seems like, although the message is being passed on to her other teachers, they're not heeding the warning. It's not really a warning, it's more like a huge red neon sign that's flashing ***DANGER***. Madd's jumper got cut, and punches got thrown between the two of them. She also gets very stressed when she's made to work with him. We finally got her to the point where she's able to verbalise to the teacher that she can't work with him, but the teacher still said that she had to. That is a point that will be made at our meeting with the school this afternoon.
Now I thought Ash was on board with moving her schools if we absolutely had to.
Now this morning we get into a massive argument over that... he threw up the line that "No matter what, I don't think she should move schools."
Hang on there... earlier this week you were saying that you were on board with this if it had to happen. Now you're saying it doesn't?
So I try for further clarification.
Apparently if the school states that there's nothing more they can do to make her school life easier, and they state that they'll keep treating Madd's "defiance" (it's her way of saying she's stressed about something, and you need to ask her what's wrong to get it out of her) as bad behaviour and punishing her, THEN we can move her schools.
I'm not talking about moving her schools now. I'm not even talking about it being a definite.
I'm just asking that we keep the possibility open if we believe it's in her best interests, and maybe another school will handle her issues in a different way - in the way that works.
But for now, it's a subject that we just cannot agree on.
Showing posts with label ODD. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ODD. Show all posts
Thursday, 23 August 2012
Sunday, 19 August 2012
Autism isn't real - it's just parents making excuses for bad parenting
Yes, this is my blog today. I am, by the way, AGAINST the title. Not for it.
I can't believe that some people honestly believe that Autism, Depression, ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder), ADD, ADHD and a lot of other disorders are being disbelieved. There's a few things being said that I don't agree with:
"Every kid's got some diagnosis these days"
"What have you got to be depressed about?" (depression is a chemical imbalance, NOT a mood)
"She's autistic? But she looks so normal" (so you'd prefer my kid to do the typical autistic hand-flapping and spinning instead of going on and on and on about her latest obsession?)
"Maybe you should pay less attention to *insert sibling's name here* and more attention to her" (this one came straight from my mother)
"The kid just needs a damn good smack"
"Send him to me for a couple of days, I'll sort him out"
"Autism's caused by vaccines you know... did you vaxx your child?" (of course I did - because the autism study linking vaccines to autism were falsified... there IS no link between current vaccines and autism)
"But she has great eye contact" (yes, but she has too MUCH eye contact - she'll stare you down if she knows you well, and she has no concept of personal space)
All these frustrating things are NOT what a parent needs to hear.
Pre-diagnosis, there isn't much you can say, other than to listen and be supportive.
DON'T say "are you sure he has autism? surely he'll just catch up when he's ready"
It's hard enough to admit that something is NQR with your child. Please don't make us re-doubt ourselves.
DO be there for us. Bring cake, have coffee with us. Feel free to talk about things other than autism/ODD/whatever else. Do be unconditionally supportive and understanding that our child/children may not behave as you'd expect them to. Like most parents, we're doing the best we can.
It INFURIATES me that some people are STILL so ignorant to disabilities. If someone's in a wheelchair and nonverbal, most assume their intelligence is affected. I have a friend whom I've known since we were little kids, and he's one of the smartest people I know. Nonverbal and in a wheelchair doesn't mean stupid or illiterate, or any number of other things you might think. He's an amazing guy that I'm proud to know. Bloody good sense of humour too. Non-verbal just means that he communicates in other ways. Facial expressions, and most of our conversations are yes/no or assisted by a book of words for him to point to.
And if someone's child is running amok in the supermarket and stimming, or spinning, or making weird noises, or suddenly runs off? Don't assume bad behaviour. Don't judge. Parents who belt their kids for no good reason and yell and swear at them? Judge THEM, not us who are trying to do the best we can with what we've got.
END RANT.
Thanks for reading
I can't believe that some people honestly believe that Autism, Depression, ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder), ADD, ADHD and a lot of other disorders are being disbelieved. There's a few things being said that I don't agree with:
"Every kid's got some diagnosis these days"
"What have you got to be depressed about?" (depression is a chemical imbalance, NOT a mood)
"She's autistic? But she looks so normal" (so you'd prefer my kid to do the typical autistic hand-flapping and spinning instead of going on and on and on about her latest obsession?)
"Maybe you should pay less attention to *insert sibling's name here* and more attention to her" (this one came straight from my mother)
"The kid just needs a damn good smack"
"Send him to me for a couple of days, I'll sort him out"
"Autism's caused by vaccines you know... did you vaxx your child?" (of course I did - because the autism study linking vaccines to autism were falsified... there IS no link between current vaccines and autism)
"But she has great eye contact" (yes, but she has too MUCH eye contact - she'll stare you down if she knows you well, and she has no concept of personal space)
All these frustrating things are NOT what a parent needs to hear.
Pre-diagnosis, there isn't much you can say, other than to listen and be supportive.
DON'T say "are you sure he has autism? surely he'll just catch up when he's ready"
It's hard enough to admit that something is NQR with your child. Please don't make us re-doubt ourselves.
DO be there for us. Bring cake, have coffee with us. Feel free to talk about things other than autism/ODD/whatever else. Do be unconditionally supportive and understanding that our child/children may not behave as you'd expect them to. Like most parents, we're doing the best we can.
It INFURIATES me that some people are STILL so ignorant to disabilities. If someone's in a wheelchair and nonverbal, most assume their intelligence is affected. I have a friend whom I've known since we were little kids, and he's one of the smartest people I know. Nonverbal and in a wheelchair doesn't mean stupid or illiterate, or any number of other things you might think. He's an amazing guy that I'm proud to know. Bloody good sense of humour too. Non-verbal just means that he communicates in other ways. Facial expressions, and most of our conversations are yes/no or assisted by a book of words for him to point to.
And if someone's child is running amok in the supermarket and stimming, or spinning, or making weird noises, or suddenly runs off? Don't assume bad behaviour. Don't judge. Parents who belt their kids for no good reason and yell and swear at them? Judge THEM, not us who are trying to do the best we can with what we've got.
END RANT.
Thanks for reading
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